Nothing is as frightening as a crazed writer on caffeine and sleep deprivation~

November 4th, 2009

05:46 pm - Writer's Block: Change is good

If you could change one major thing about your life, whether a relationship, your job, your living situation, your school, etc., what would it be? Are you currently working toward a serious life transition?

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Well, I'd start with the little things. Like killing my upstairs neighbors for being so loud that even with music and headphones, I almost can't focus on my writing or my studying.

After I've disposed of their corpses, I'd like to make a number of major changes in my life. I know it says to pick one, but frankly, all of those things need changing. I would like to go to a university that I really liked, studying fiction writing. I want to live in an apartment as awesome as this one, with a landlord as awesome as this one, but in a different city and with elderly neighbors who never watch TV. I want to meet a guy whom I can communicate with, trust, and banter with, fall in love, and hold some semblance of a relationship that forces me to release my intimacy issues. I would love to get a job that made me happy and gave me time to write, but ultimately I would love to be a successful author. Successful enough to live off of my writing, at least.

If only, if only. I can't pick just one of those things. But in the end, I'd just like to have a life of financial stability that includes love, loyal friendships, and enjoyment of life in general, despite the ups and downs we all inevitably face.

Wouldn't we all?

In other news, had a bit of a school crisis. As usual, after crying and panicking and worrying, it miraculously worked out. Or so it seems. I feel much better, either way. Not to mention thankful beyond words.

Been doing pretty well on NaNo, all things considered. Gotta keep it up if I want to make it, though.

20573 / 50000 words. 41% done!

Sort of in the mood to write a comedy instead of horror, so I've been listening to scary, wordless soundtracks to try to get me in the mood. The end.

EDIT: I just submitted a short piece for publication for the first time. I'm super nervous and excited. It doesn't pay much, but it is a print publication. I know I'm up against a lot of people, but regardless of the results, at least I can say that I'm truly proud of this one. It's flash fiction, and I'll post it in my LJ later if it isn't accepted. Hopefully it will be, though. XD

EDIT AGAIN: CRAP. I just noticed that while the submission itself was fine, the cover letter with my address and the short bio they requested was smooshed together so that there are no lines between paragraphs. >< Do you think that'd be enough for them to just delete it? I hope not. Damn you straight to hell Opera. I don't know why you do that.
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Tags: frustration, goals, life challenges, nano, relationships, school, writing

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February 11th, 2009

06:31 pm - Writer's Block: Challenges I’ve Faced

What challenges in life have you conquered and emerged from a better person?

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A lot. My life has been full of hellish lessons. I want to say I'm a better person because of it. I honestly don't know. I feel like I'm an open book, but I suppose none of my friends really know what I went through in Ely. I joke about it, but I did spend ten years being abused in every way imaginable by just about everybody around me. The religious cults were bad, but being taken from my mother was probably the worst. Of course, I just thought it was normal to be taken away from her. Kids don't think about that sort of thing.

But hell, all that aside, that is NOTHING. I have never known anyone with a more horrific life story than this friend of my mother's. She was actually asked to be on Oprah, but refused because she's not over her past, even though she's in her later life now. It's a shame, though, because it could have given her organization more recognition. At any rate, her brother was killed by communist soldiers in China, her parents were sent to prison camps of some sort, and at 7 she was left to wander the streets, and was forced to wear a sign that said something vicious... I can't remember what. It said, "Daughter of ____" and there was some slur I can't recall that they were calling her parents (who had just been normal people. A seamstress and a dentist, I think.) People would throw food at her. A teacher once allowed his class to violently beat her. Actually, I think he encouraged them to. Then she ended up in some containment camp herself where she was forced to do... very horrible things that I can't even begin to describe. The story's horrifying icing on the cake is that she escaped and swam out of the place. (I don't know where... I know she got to America that way, but obviously she didn't swim here.) As she's swimming away from this prison, trying to escape, with men with guns standing in watch towers ready to shoot her if they see her, she's hitting objects floating in the water. The objects are bodies. Hundreds and hundreds of bodies of people who had tried to escape before her.

Honestly, I know it doesn't make my own experiences better, but hell, not a whole lot tops that. It makes me ill just thinking about it. I can't imagine the trauma and suffering she must still be going through. But she's clearly a better person and spends a good portion of her time helping other people, hence her organization.
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