your experiences sound like they'd make a hell of a story. if you felt like working on it, which maybe not so much.

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You know, I've actually thought about it before. I'm a writer, but I've always gone by the belief that "no one wants to hear about some chick they don't know." I do have a story with some of those elements, but the idea of a fictionalized version of all that stuff has come to my mind in recent months. I wouldn't say I'm afraid to write it, but I'm sure as a fellow writer you understand how startling it can be, some of the realizations that hit you as your words turn into sudden memories.

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actually, i tend to be attracted to writing about the painful or startling shit. but that's not maybe super normal. or healthy. or something. gets me incubating my self pity.

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No, I understand. I can be the same way. But I'm trying to pinpoint my reluctance on getting it started. Maybe I'm just afraid of it sucking, or something. Haha.

Hey, you might like this community on lj, disturbingbooks. I've found some interesting things through that.

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My god, that's some story.

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I know, isn't it horrifying? x_x

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dealing with my ex's behaviour during my pregnancy.. I'm lucky to have gotten rid of him.. he was a LOSER! BIG TIME.

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I have no way of relating to that, but I'm glad you got through it.

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it was hard and quite the challenge. I wouldnt be the person I am now if I hadnt experienced that.

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*curls in ball and feels sad* Is it weird that I really, really want to give a woman I've never met a big hug? As if everything else wasn't bad enough, having to swim through bodies...

Sometimes I just feel like losing all faith in the goodness of humanity if we, as a species, allow shit like that to go on.

But her story and your's certainly put into perspective some of the petty shit I whine about from my past *hugs* I'm just glad your both out of those situations and, hopefully, in a better place in your lives.

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Wow, I never answered this. I know, she deserves a hug. She's a very kind woman, but she WILL not talk about her past. It's something that still hurts her very much, and I believe she's in her 60s now. I don't blame her though.

But that was a long time ago. That country has changed, so we can't hold the new people accountable for the travesties that occurred. Doesn't stop it from being horribly evil, but in that time period there was horrible evil everywhere, the US included. x_x We're still making mistakes all around, but I try to have hope that we are and will move beyond this discrimination based oppression. The war in Iraq makes me question it with things like that little 14-year-old Iraqi girl being gang raped and murdered, with her whole family including her 9-year-old sister savagely murdered, by a group of US Soldiers. Or the fact that we're holding so many "war criminals" without real proof behind it, and have been practicing torture. But the fact that THIS time, more people are protesting, shows that we're in the right direction.

(Oh, and they DID go to jail for what they did, but only the ring leader got life. I think he should have gotten the death sentence. Wtf, you slaughter an entire family and rape and kill a little girl? Actually, death is the easy way out. I hope he gets raped up the ass daily in prison.)

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Wow... that's a powerful story. I mean it would be hard to come to terms with that, you know? But it must be like, if I made it through all that, I must be here for some type of purpose. It's stories like her's and yours that me get annoyed with people who whine over the shit they put themselves through. I have a former friend like this and one day she just set me off and I haven't spoken to her since. She still likes to put the blame on people who haven't even done anything to her.

At any rate, I think you are a better person for the situations you've gone through, you may not see it, but I feel that you are.

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I know. I wish she were willing to share on her past, but she refuses to talk about it. She's in her 60s now, but the wounds are still raw apparently. x_x I don't blame her. She's really done something with her life, though, in helping others.

Oh man, I totally agree about all that. I don't agree with friends who say "I haven't had it as bad as you!" because this isn't a "compare pasts!" game, and my hurts don't make the hurts of others any less. But when people like THAT keep throwing themselves into the same situations and refuse to take responsibility... and play the victim, it really, really bothers me. x_x

But thank you. I hope I'm a better person. In the end I have some issues, and they frustrate me sometimes. They prevent me from starting a relationship, and I've had to work through a slew of anger issues over time. But I do hope in the end I'm a stronger person. Thank you, though, for thinking I am. <3

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I'm really sorry about what you had to go through. :( I had no idea, but I suppose more people than you would guess have dark secrets.

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Thanks hon, it's in the past now. I just wish it hadn't left me with all these issues. >< I want to be in a relationship one day, but it seems to be impossible for me to start one because of my weirdness. At any rate, someday I'll meet a guy who makes me feel good enough to let go of all that, I'm sure.

But yeah, you never know what people have been through. It's crazy the stuff you learn. I'm stunned by some of the stuff that ends up coming up with people who seemed happy and healthy. At any rate, I don't talk about it too much because I don't like to burden people, and I do have a tendency to make light of things that actually really hurt me, which I think confuses people. Lol.

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that's... horrible... I don't really have words for that. o_o

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pain and suffering is a very selfish thing. amazing sometimes we allow others to say their bit and feel bad and relate; or not. yet still all the while you compare it to yourself. crazy! with that said. fuk. that sucks. to both stories.

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I think people try to relate to other's pain with their own. It's a matter of social skills whether you can do that with finesse or not. Saying, "I'm so sorry you've been through that. I dealt with a level of abuse myself," is a way of saying the person has someone to talk to, etc. Saying, "Well this one time I got gang raped in a parking lot and they stole my purse, and then I had to go to the hospital for three weeks," is an example of poor social skills. Sometimes people feel like it's a game of "who has a worst past!!!" when really there is a time and place to share your own stories.

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I know-- isn't it awful? I seriously can't believe she went through all of that. She's an amazing woman for surviving what she did, and she's truly kind and charitable now. I feel so bad for her, though. She refuses to talk about her past, even now, and she's in her 60s.

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